Ending B

Defense is ready, your honor

Greetings my fellow internet denizens! Today, I have a very special treat for all of you! Now as you all might know, I tend to play games of a rather free variety, and I usually pass said savings on to you! Of course, I make exceptions for notables like "World of Goo", but usually a purchase is warranted.

Today, I speak about the Kingdom of Loathing, a foray into the online world that does not require payment! Of course, you can always donate to keep the servers running, and in doing so, you get a nifty item!

There are many mechanics to this wonderful game, and I'd hate to make a huge review/summary when there are action shots to be seen, but the object of this wonderful game is to play through the questline and defeat the final boss, like all other RPGs. However, you are not alone! Out there, among the tubes, you will find others trying to do the very same thing, and they can trade, chat, and aid you in real time! Due to the awesomeness of the game, you are only given a limited amount of "adventures", which you can replenish (though limited as well) through drinking booze, eating food, and spleening items (that is, harnessing items through your spleen, I really don't understand it myself). Also, the game currency is meat, a currency that I most hungrily endorse!

Now I haven't played this game as long as the more elite crowd, but I have at least a small amount of pride in what I've accomplished, and to share in these accomplishments, I've commissioned the best artist I could find in the short time I chose to post this review.

Seal Clubber

Tedris the Seal Clubber!

Yes, Tedris! With his hammer distilled in the blood of a thousand baby seals, he hails from the Northlands to do unspeakable things in order to gain favor in the realm. He is holding a special binder that allows him to translate runes that he finds while on his run. In the distance, the Naughty Sorceress' tower looms perilously, and in the sky, the twin moons are shown (once there was a third, but that was no moon, that was a space station!)

Disco Bandit

Tedris the Disco Bandit!

Yes, Tedris again! In this life, he serenaded and swooned many with his Shagadelic Disco Banjo (I didn't make that name up), and stole items from various monsters in order to grant great wealth and power. His many cocktails allowed for a grand drunken journey, and he served his clan to the fullest.

Turtle Tamer

Tedris the Turtle Tamer and the Naughty Sorceress!

And here's Tedris once more! Here, he is in the guise of a Turtle Tamer, a mighty class that uses skills to use his many familiars, and also to strengthen his armor and shielding abilities (he's wearing a shield, you just can't see it due to how awesome he is). Here, he is depicted fighting the Sorceress that plagues the land, as she stands atop her dais of power. Though the outlook of this battle is still too soon to tell... judging by how awesome the artist drew that mace, I'm guessing Tedris rocked her world (on the dais, on the dais? Rock me on the dais! (slight spoiler, whoopsie!))

In closing, if you have nothing better to do, and you have an idling web browser, why not give the game a try? You can play it anywhere! Also, I'd like to give a shout out to The Pixellated Array, a fine group that has aided me, and ultimately allowed me to write this game review. Oh yes, and thanks to our wonderfully unnamed artist, who will be receiving sufficient compensation for the bad ass action shots.

(A small addition): I wrote some new music, and seeing as how my post is still on the front, and I don't have a picture to go with the music, I figured I'd just leave this right here: Ambience in my head